"Those that don't got it, can't show it. Those that got it, can't hide it."
~ Zora Neale Hurston
Living in authenticity is one of the great challenges of being human, and living an authentic life is an aspiration. So prepare to blunder along the path! Risking telling the truth at all times requires both courage and finesse because truth-telling can be hurtful to others, especially those who are fragile. One sure way to measure how fully you're in your truth is to track the sensations in your body. Trust your gut over your thoughts and pay attention to what answers arise for you. Also notice what happens to you when someone asks you a question that puts you on the spot: Do you answer authentically or do you veil your answer to accommodate their feelings? If you choose the latter, what does that do to your feelings about yourself? It's possible to stand in your authenticity by making it a practice to pause to see if there's a more "politic" way to speak your truth without hurting others.
Scores of comedians cite the supposedly typical scenario of a woman putting on a new outfit and asking her husband if it makes her look fat. The gag is that the woman doesn't want to hear the truth, and that the man should know he'd better lie. Such jokes make both men and women look like simpletons whose relationships are founded on manipulation. How would you answer such a question from your partner? Can you handle hearing an authentic answer, and can you give kind, authentic answers?
DAILY HEALTHY ACTS
- Spend a day noticing when you bend your truth in order to accommodate people around you-especially your partner.
- Practice speaking your truth in kind, authentic ways.
"If you think someone or something other than yourself is responsible for your happiness or success, I'd guess you're not that happy or successful."
~ Rob Liano
Life is filled with challenges and strife, which we can use in service of shaping our character, rounding out our rough edges, and forcing us to grow. Taking the "bull by the horns" in life means we set ourselves a course of possibility and vision, and to do so we must step out of our comfort zone. It can also mean that we aren't relying on a lover or partner to make us happy or to bring us sexual blossoming.
Waiting for Prince Charming to swoop in and elevate our dreary lives is a disempowering, grandiose and childish fantasy that only serves to leave us weak and victim-like. Yet many fairy tales conjure images of knights in shining armor and Cinderella-like endings that will rescue us from the hardships of life. Like all fairy tales, these stories are filled with oft-misinterpreted metaphors for life, but bear no factual semblance to adult reality. So they can cripple us in immaturity if we stay attached to them.
Living a life of self-empowerment means that we willingly live in discomfort, anxiety, and sometimes even in fear because we recognize those feelings as a personal crucible for growth. Such growth is essential to realizing--that is, to making real--our own dreams and visions. Independent people know that challenge is a genuine part of reality, and that only by managing it ourselves will we manifest our true selves. Holding the paradox of fear and faith simultaneously is the task of the visionary; create your own fairy tale today and empower yourself to live the life you imagine!
DAILY HEALTHY ACTS
- What fantasies are you harboring--perhaps about being saved from your lot in life--that need to be dashed?
- Are you disempowered? If so, how? What small step can you take today to get into reality and empower yourself? Try talking to a friend, your partner, a health or mental health professional. Take your sexuality into your own hands.
- Do you discount your current relationship and live in fantasy about a perfect one? How might living in fantasy keep you from appreciating the relationship you already have?
CHS - Los Angeles