"None of us can help the things life has done to us. They're done before you realize it, and once they're done they make you do other things until at last everything comes between you and what you'd like to be, and you've lost your true self forever."
~ Eugene O'Neill
Why do people miscast reality? Lies are walls, quite simply. We all know that to lie is to block our light. Truly there's no deception without self-deception. Somewhere along the way we learned to deny a personal truth.
Growing up we depend on caregivers not just for food and shelter but also for facts and comprehension, methods to assimilate life. How helpless it can feel when there's easy-to-ignore intellectual abuse in the form of misinformation or lies, which can create a "Why not?" attitude: Why not break the rules, act out against our nature? So-called pathological liars have always been deprived of an integral process to develop truth. Family-of-origin issues often included gaslighting--the act of camouflaging deceit through casting fault on another's perception--named after a film noir in which a villain's lies about flickering gaslights are intended to make the heroine think she's going insane.
How painful and crazy-making it is to be lied to... even as yet we've each lied to another ourselves.
Yes, it's a sad truth when you think of it: We've all practiced a past falsehood that remains with us. Also, every one of us has broken through denial to realize a deeper truth, so we know present falsity is always a possibility. Even now, we often lie by omission, or we may infer a different meaning through careful wording while the real truth remains obscured. We don't speak our truth out of fear (still a deception.) Probably, we're still trying to find the right way to share our truth.
Spiritual truth is really the first model for truth. When we heal our level of intellectual abuse enough to align with the living heart of a personally-realized spiritual truth, whatever its shape, this inner model of truth finally enables us to recognize the tone of authenticity in others. At long last, trust reestablished creates a loving space for our relationships to wondrously share truth as we discover and experience it, as the truth finds us.
DAILY HEALTHY ACTS
- How do you share your truth? Do your words become secondary to the truth of your behavior? For instance, someone in a rage only speaks the truth they're in a rage.
- Do you dispute others' versions of reality? In doing so, we fail to hear their truth, what's true for them. Today, hear another's truth--you don't have to agree with it, of course, but it's not likely you'll change it.
- With whom do you share your truth? Perhaps you've learned to communicate truthfully, but if you're stuck on someone who can't receive your truth, then you're in a certain denial about your capacity for relationship.
- What's your spiritual truth this moment? No matter its state, embrace your truth and embody this process for finding it throughout the day. Allow the day's events to emerge as a practice of uncovering your truth.
CSH - Los Angeles