Helping you build the relationship
you actually want.
Couples therapy, individual work, and intensive sessions — in Chicago, Valparaiso, and virtually worldwide.
35+ years of experience helping couples and individuals heal, grow, and reconnect.
Real change starts with the right help.
Structured, direct, and designed for people ready to stop repeating the same patterns.
Most couples don't need more talking — they need a different approach. Relational Life Therapy goes beneath surface arguments to the patterns formed long before your relationship began. You'll uncover what's actually driving the conflict, learn tools you can use immediately, and rebuild on a foundation of honesty and mutual respect.
One hundred focused minutes can accomplish what months of conventional weekly therapy often cannot. Whether you're in crisis, drifting apart, or simply ready for something better — this is where real work happens.
Relational Discovery
Identify the unconscious dynamics — the inheritances from childhood, the postures of self-protection — that drive the cycles you can't seem to break.
Practical Skills
Learn tools you'll actually use: how to speak for repair, how to hold a boundary without contempt, how to listen without disappearing.
Lasting Change
Move from hopelessness or quiet resignation to a relationship rooted in respect, intimacy, and the kind of honesty that doesn't wound.
Trained by the people who wrote the books.
Hedy holds advanced certifications across trauma, addiction, and couples work — trained directly under the field's most respected names. This is not a generalist practice.
Full biography & background →Founder of the Relational Life Institute and author of Us, The New Rules of Marriage, and I Don't Want to Talk About It. Hedy has trained with Terry for over 20 years and serves as an RLI Facilitator and Bootcamp Leader.
Senior Clinical Advisor at The Meadows and author of Facing Codependence, Facing Love Addiction, and The Intimacy Factor. Hedy has completed all four of Pia's trainings and continues regular case consultations with her.
The work is specific.
So is who it serves.
Couples in Crisis
Recurring fights, silent distance, the slow erosion of intimacy — and the willingness to do something about it.
Betrayal Trauma
Affairs, secrets, broken trust. Specialized work for the partner who was hurt and the partner who hurt them.
Sex & Love Addiction
For individuals struggling with compulsive patterns, and for the partners navigating the aftermath.
Enmeshment & Codependency
Reclaiming healthy boundaries from family systems and relationships that quietly took over your sense of self.
Childhood Trauma Recovery
The patterns formed in childhood that show up in adult relationships — addressed at the root, not the symptom.
Premarital & Pre-Commitment
Build the relationship deliberately. Address what would otherwise become a problem in year five.
Couples sessions. Individual sessions.
Whether you're here as a couple or on your own, Hedy offers a structured, focused approach tailored to where you are right now.
Couples Therapy
Go beneath the surface arguments to the patterns driving your cycles. Rebuild on honesty, respect, and real tools you can use the same week.
- 100-minute sessions
- Half-day & full-day intensives
- Betrayal trauma & affairs
- Crisis intervention
- Premarital work
Individual Therapy
Understand the relational patterns formed in childhood, break cycles of codependency or addiction, and learn to show up differently in every relationship.
- 100-minute sessions
- Childhood trauma recovery
- Sex & love addiction
- Enmeshment & codependency
- Partner trauma support
What clients say after.
Hedy is hands down the best therapist in Chicago and one of the best therapists in the world. After moving back to Chicago, I searched for years to find a therapist who was relatable and could actually help me significantly. The work I've done with her has made a huge positive impact for change in my life.
We always thought of therapy as a "last resort." It ended up being our saving grace. Hedy goes above and beyond — activities, books, videos to work on between each session. 10/10.
Her approach is unique, effective, and based on tremendous amounts of study and research. We spent many months previously with another therapist that only made things worse. Drastic improvement within a few sessions.
She was the missing piece to many years of therapy. I am forever grateful to her experience and training. I would highly recommend her to anyone struggling in relationships who needs a direct and fresh approach.
Hedy has a process and framework that has been extremely different from our prior experience. I'm typically pretty rigid and analytical, and she's helped me see our relationship — and in particular my behavior within it — in an entirely different way.
Hedy has been an amazing treasure for my husband and me. She has given us the tools to connect meaningfully through the discord to truly see each other in love. So grateful to have found her.
Hedy Tan is an exceptional therapist. Her grounded, thoughtful approach helped me navigate challenging chapters of my life with clarity and strength. She creates a space that feels safe, supportive, and genuinely insightful.
Hedy has helped me process through my childhood past and given me the tools to move forward as a healthier person. I've experienced very positive results from two years of sessions with Hedy, as an individual and with my husband for marital counseling.
Transparent, no surprises.
90% of couples begin with an intensive session. It's the fastest way to get real traction — and most find it changes how they approach everything that follows.
Half-Day Intensive
A focused half-day for couples ready to do serious work. Psycho-educational and results-oriented from the first minute.
Full-Day Intensive
A complete day dedicated to your relationship. For couples facing deeper challenges or who want the most comprehensive start.
100-Minute Session
The standard session format. Longer than conventional therapy because real relational work requires time. Contact Hedy for current rates.
RLT Bootcamp
The Essential Skills Bootcamp designed by Terry Real. Available to individuals and couples. Contact Hedy for upcoming dates.
RLT recommends couples commit to 4 months of weekly sessions. Most couples see significant improvement within 8 long sessions when both partners engage fully.
A hundred minutes can
change everything.
Whether you're navigating crisis, considering whether to stay, or building something new — start with one focused, structured conversation.
"The 5 Core Symptoms of Developmental Immaturity"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) with Hedy Tan
What Is Relational Life Therapy? (RLT) is a transformative approach that emphasizes the importance of connection. Our earliest relationships with caregivers shape how we attach, communicate, and love. Over time, these patterns can either help us thrive or keep us stuck in cycles of conflict, disconnection, or silence. Unlike traditional talk sessions or standard marriage counseling, RLT doesn’t just focus on surface-level issues. It goes deeper—into the core of your relational struggles—so couples and individuals can uncover unconscious patterns, heal wounds, and create healthier, more authentic ways of relating. Why RLT Works
Hedy Tan is passionate about helping people break free from painful cycles and create the relationships they truly want. Her expertise brings both compassion and structure to the healing process.
Hedy offers sessions in two welcoming office settings:
Who Can Benefit from RLT?
If you’re ready to stop repeating the same patterns and start building a healthier, more connected relationship, Relational Life Therapy may be right for you. Contact Hedy Tan today to schedule a consultation and begin your journey toward lasting change. |
About Hedy Tan:
With over 35 years of experience, Hedy Tan has dedicated her career to helping individuals and couples heal from trauma, addictions, and relational challenges. She combines compassion with evidence-based methods to guide clients toward lasting change. Credentials & Expertise
|
|
River North, Chicago
|
Valparaiso, Indiana
|
|
|
